I just experienced something really touching on the train. This guy walked onto the train at the West 4th street stop, which is just a few stops before my job. I’m sitting there with my headphones in listening to music. Already starting my day off angry. The train was making me late to work, I’m stressed about my personal shit and the last thing I wanted to hear was anyone speaking. Read more…
Now before you start reading this, brace yourself because its going to get sad. I advise you to just click out of this entry if you’re not the type to appreciate raw emotion. Thats exactly what this is going to be.
I’ll never forget the feeling I had inside when I was leaving work one day. I remember it was that “I want to cry, but I don’t know why” type of sentiment. I called one of my best friends because I was walking in the middle of Mid-town New York about to have a break down.
I was looking at the screen of my IPhone just thinking this girl better pick up her face-time. When Randee finally picked up of course that’s when the tears started rolling. I just needed someone to vent to. I knew the last place I wanted to go was home. I spoke with her as I was trying to figure out where I can go sit and have time to myself.
Being that I am a woman I find that a lot of times we feel like men should know what we’re thinking. Certain things like what we would like them to do and what we would NOT like them to do. Now a lot of the times we either would rather not nag and complain because we want you to figure it out on your own. Another reason is because we feel like if we do spell it out that it won’t be done and that will bother us even more.
Read: You know something is right for you, but you have that character on your shoulder saying “No.” Why though? You’ve been through so many experiences that you don’t even know what you want at this point. You’re hiding out from your own truth. You are so lost in your own substance that you cant tell the real anymore.
How many times do we catch ourselves right back into the same situations that we said we would never be in again? I know I’ve done it and I’m sure others have experienced the same as well. Its like when you’re a little kid and your parents tell you not to touch the stove but you do it anyway just to see what happens on your own. Why do we like to invite pain back into our lives? Why do we still proceed with touching the stove knowing that its just going to hurt us?
Read: Its a bright sunny morning and you open your eyes but for some reason you don’t feel bright and sunny inside. That’s the morning I have someday’s and it bothers me because I can’t seem to figure out why. Do you ever wake up and feel down? You start your day expecting the worst, or even just feeling sad for absolutely no reason? There are times that this happens to me and it makes me feel so confused. I wonder if other people wake up this way or is it just me?