Why settle?

How many times do we catch ourselves right back into the same situations that we said we would never be in again? I know I’ve done it and I’m sure others have experienced the same as well. Its like when you’re a little kid and your parents tell you not to touch the stove but you do it anyway just to see what happens on your own. Why do we like to invite pain back into our lives? Why do we still proceed with touching the stove knowing that its just going to hurt us?

There’s been different experiences in my life where I told myself “I’m never going through that again, next time will be different.” Now this has happen in different aspects of my life. Whether its that one family member that you know you’ll always argue with, that boyfriend that you go back to, or just settling for things in my life that I know I shouldn’t settle for.

Now as much as we all think we know what we deserve, do we really? When I was younger I thought a date to the movies or answering my text back fast enough defined being treated right. The more experiences you go through, the more time that passes is what truly helps you define what you “Deserve”. It takes more than just words that can be said or written to really treat someone you care for the way they should be.

I’ve noticed over the years a lot of people do not know what it means to match words with actions. I could tell someone I love them and go ahead and do everything that I know they hate or bothers them. You can’t expect someone to remain in your life when you’re doing the bare minimum to keep them. You can’t tell someone you want to be with them or see a future with them while showing no effort at all.

The definition of effort is a vigorous or determined attempt. You can not convey a determined attempt without any actions to back you up. Men and Woman will both unfortunately uncover their feelings and emotions when their significant other is ready to leave. Whys are these efforts only encountered when the other individual has had enough?

The reason behind this is because for some reason as time has passed people think they’re entitled to the relationship or situation that they’re in. Without taking a shot at giving someone the proper treatment how could you expect them to stay? When you are attempting to build a relationship you know exactly what the other person wants and needs. Everyone is different. There are so many different ways to show the person you love that you truly do love them.

Materialistic things and dates are not the only way to show a person you care for them. You can write a simple letter, because this takes time and effort it can mean even more. Personally something like a letter means the world to me. It shows me that I am worth the time it takes to sit down and put together meaningful words that describe how much you care about me. When I’ve receive items like this as a present it has meant more to me than flowers, jewelry, or anything else of material.  Showing a person that you want them in your presence and the effort of seeing them is also a big factor of making someone feel special.

Often times we know exactly what we want from a relationship but yet we still do settle. Most of the times we do this because we feel like things will change. Maybe this person will alter the way they act if I complain enough. Or maybe they will eventually evolve into the person I know they can be if I show them I deserve it. The problem is our job is not to change people. It is not our position to make someone into what we think and know they can be.

Everyone has the effort inside of them. It all depends on who they think is worthy enough to give this effort to. When you really want something you go for it. People make time for who they want and what they want. The “I don’t have time” excuse has never sat really well with me. I am the type of person who can have so much going onin my day, but if I really want you in my life I will find that time for you. The problem is people don’t think about others and what they deserve anymore. If more people were honest and open about what they want and are willing to give to someone there wouldn’t be so much confusion. You can’t tell someone you want them and confuse the actual actions of showing them with just words. Do not settle, settling means you can’t find more. The thing is that you can.

Relate: “Forget what you want and remember what you deserve.” This has always been one of my favorite quotes because it is so meaningful. This blog is to let people know that you are not alone when it comes to settling. We have all done it, and some of us may still do it. It takes experience and time to determine what you believe you want and deserve in life. Before loving another person you have to love yourself. In order to love yourself you must take time to know yourself. Nothing is ever “too good for you,” There is nothing and no one that should ever make you feel like you need to settle. Listen to the voice within you. Ask yourself questions before continuing onto embarking in a new relationship. Does this person treat me right? Does this person make me happy not only when its convenient for them, but when its convenient for me? Can I see myself with this person for the rest of my life? Can I handle the relationship we have and actually see it grow? Being alone at times does seem scary, and trust me we have all gone through it. There is something worse than being alone, and that is being mistreated. Do not question your worth regardless of what someone tells you or makes you feel. You are worth the world, you are worth endless effort and you are worth the stars.

Notate: Feel free to comment or share experiences with myself and others.