Why settle?

How many times do we catch ourselves right back into the same situations that we said we would never be in again? I know I’ve done it and I’m sure others have experienced the same as well. Its like when you’re a little kid and your parents tell you not to touch the stove but you do it anyway just to see what happens on your own. Why do we like to invite pain back into our lives? Why do we still proceed with touching the stove knowing that its just going to hurt us?

There’s been different experiences in my life where I told myself “I’m never going through that again, next time will be different.” Now this has happen in different aspects of my life. Whether its that one family member that you know you’ll always argue with, that boyfriend that you go back to, or just settling for things in my life that I know I shouldn’t settle for.

Now as much as we all think we know what we deserve, do we really? When I was younger I thought a date to the movies or answering my text back fast enough defined being treated right. The more experiences you go through, the more time that passes is what truly helps you define what you “Deserve”. It takes more than just words that can be said or written to really treat someone you care for the way they should be.

I’ve noticed over the years a lot of people do not know what it means to match words with actions. I could tell someone I love them and go ahead and do everything that I know they hate or bothers them. You can’t expect someone to remain in your life when you’re doing the bare minimum to keep them. You can’t tell someone you want to be with them or see a future with them while showing no effort at all.

The definition of effort is a vigorous or determined attempt. You can not convey a determined attempt without any actions to back you up. Men and Woman will both unfortunately uncover their feelings and emotions when their significant other is ready to leave. Whys are these efforts only encountered when the other individual has had enough?

The reason behind this is because for some reason as time has passed people think they’re entitled to the relationship or situation that they’re in. Without taking a shot at giving someone the proper treatment how could you expect them to stay? When you are attempting to build a relationship you know exactly what the other person wants and needs. Everyone is different. There are so many different ways to show the person you love that you truly do love them.

Materialistic things and dates are not the only way to show a person you care for them. You can write a simple letter, because this takes time and effort it can mean even more. Personally something like a letter means the world to me. It shows me that I am worth the time it takes to sit down and put together meaningful words that describe how much you care about me. When I’ve receive items like this as a present it has meant more to me than flowers, jewelry, or anything else of material.  Showing a person that you want them in your presence and the effort of seeing them is also a big factor of making someone feel special.

Often times we know exactly what we want from a relationship but yet we still do settle. Most of the times we do this because we feel like things will change. Maybe this person will alter the way they act if I complain enough. Or maybe they will eventually evolve into the person I know they can be if I show them I deserve it. The problem is our job is not to change people. It is not our position to make someone into what we think and know they can be.

Everyone has the effort inside of them. It all depends on who they think is worthy enough to give this effort to. When you really want something you go for it. People make time for who they want and what they want. The “I don’t have time” excuse has never sat really well with me. I am the type of person who can have so much going onin my day, but if I really want you in my life I will find that time for you. The problem is people don’t think about others and what they deserve anymore. If more people were honest and open about what they want and are willing to give to someone there wouldn’t be so much confusion. You can’t tell someone you want them and confuse the actual actions of showing them with just words. Do not settle, settling means you can’t find more. The thing is that you can.

Relate: “Forget what you want and remember what you deserve.” This has always been one of my favorite quotes because it is so meaningful. This blog is to let people know that you are not alone when it comes to settling. We have all done it, and some of us may still do it. It takes experience and time to determine what you believe you want and deserve in life. Before loving another person you have to love yourself. In order to love yourself you must take time to know yourself. Nothing is ever “too good for you,” There is nothing and no one that should ever make you feel like you need to settle. Listen to the voice within you. Ask yourself questions before continuing onto embarking in a new relationship. Does this person treat me right? Does this person make me happy not only when its convenient for them, but when its convenient for me? Can I see myself with this person for the rest of my life? Can I handle the relationship we have and actually see it grow? Being alone at times does seem scary, and trust me we have all gone through it. There is something worse than being alone, and that is being mistreated. Do not question your worth regardless of what someone tells you or makes you feel. You are worth the world, you are worth endless effort and you are worth the stars.

Notate: Feel free to comment or share experiences with myself and others.

17 Comments

  1. Desiree

    This is so true and easily relatable! I think in a relationship there should be an understanding of what a women likes and a man. If your interests aren’t communicated then there goes the “read your mind scenario ”
    Love this Brit 😍

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much for your kind words Desiree! I’m so glad to hear that you were able to relate to this. If people were more open than we could all try to just tend to the wants and needs of each other instead of anyone getting hurt. Hopefully one day. Thank you so much for reading love ❤

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  2. Cristina 🖤

    Yet another beautifully written piece. I’m going to need you to get out of my head. Lol but seriously, it’s true that we tend to settle for anything until we learn what we deserve. I agree with you on the materialistic aspect. I don’t need a fancy dinner and expensive presents to know that you love me. A home cooked meal, a love letter, or a random flower picked in the park is more meaningful to me.

    Keep on writing amazing things Brit 😘

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much girl! It makes me so happy to hear you feel like I’m in your head because it means that I’m relating and thats my goal! Thank you so much for the feedback and taking your time to read my entries. It means so much to me! At the end of the day as long as we can hit home when it comes to realizing what we deserve that’s what matters the most! We all deserve the world ❤

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  3. Janessa

    People settle because they get comfortable with the person they’re with and don’t want to go out for what they deserve because people don’t like getting out of their comfort zone. But we deserve to be treated like princesses, so it may be scary to find a relationship worth being in but nothing good comes out of being complacent.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nicely said Janess! Its very true. That’s why during these times we have to take a step back and ask ourselves what we are doing. We all deserve nothing but the best ❤ It's best to be patient and let it find us 🙂

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  4. GASIEL

    Your writing is so pure Brit. I can relate to this entry on so many levels.. especially when you said “you can’t expect someone to remain in your life when you’re doing the bare minimum” … and it’s sad because this doesn’t only happen in relationships, it also happens with family members and friends , where you’re so present in their lives but when it comes to you they’re there occasionally or when it’s beneficial.. this is why I can’t stress enough how important it is to be SELFISH sometimes! Because in the end we have to accept that not everyone has a heart like ours and we’re just going to end up in disappointment if we keep thinking that they do.

    I absolutely love this piece because it made me think and it made me write in my journal.. thank you for this. Don’t stop writing..

    God bless!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Girl I am so glad to hear that it inspired you to write in your journal! Its crazy to see you say in the end not everyone has a heart like ours. That is something I’ve always had to live by. I’ve realized I would do for people what they may not do for me.. So its up to me to chose the people I want around that I know would go to the same extent to be there for me as I would. I’m so glad that you were able to relate to this girl. I appreciate so much that you took the time to read this and I cant wait to write more that can hopefully inspire others as well ❤

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  5. Major

    I appreciate eveyrthing about you Britt. ❤️🙏🏾💪🏾🙌🏾. Keep it coming, please!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you Jennifer! Of course I will! 🙂

      Like

  6. This is so relatable in different parts of life, not just relationships. Nice job!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I hope that I can write many more blogs that you will enjoy reading and will be able to relate to. Thank you so much for reading 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  7. I have too often felt like I deserved to be treated like shit because of my own flaws that cause me to blow up and say shit I don’t mean. But if I am willing to stand by someone with flaws that are just as bad don’t I deserve someone who will do the same for me?

    Beautiful post! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  8. This is great. I think that we all need to focus on what we need and what we deserve – so long as we don’t do this at other expense. Terrific piece, well-written too. Thanks.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I really appreciate your kind words and I’m glad you enjoyed my entry. ☺️ Thank you for taking the time to read!

      Like

  9. What a joy to find soenmoe else who thinks this way.

    Liked by 1 person

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