The Do’s & Don’ts .. For men

Being that I am a woman I find that a lot of times we feel like men should know what we’re thinking. Certain things like what we would like them to do and what we would NOT like them to do. Now a lot of the times we either would rather not nag and complain because we want you to figure it out on your own. Another reason is because we feel like if we do spell it out that it won’t be done and that will bother us even more.

This entry is to try and give a few pointers. Everyone is different. Some woman may like what others do not. These are the Do’s and Don’ts that I recommend.

Do’s:

Sweet good morning text messages – Something as simple as a “Good morning Beautiful, I wanted to remind you that I love you” type of text message can make your girlfriends entire day better. We love the little reminders. It takes two seconds to send a nice text, do it. Trust me she’ll be happy. This shows her that even when she is not around she is still on your mind.

• Appreciation post – Yes, this may be “Clichè.” No, everything is not about social media. Its just the little things like a picture of the both of you, or just a post of her that makes a girl feel special inside. You don’t have to rant on and on about your girlfriend. Just trust me. We see things like this and to some women its like wow, he doesn’t mind showing the world he loves me. In a world where so many people like to hide their love, it really can brighten someones day.

•Respect – This is one of the most important things in a relationship. This goes for men and women. If your significant other does not like that you do something, and it is reasonable, DON’T DO IT. Respect her. If you know there’s something you do that hurts her feelings, avoid doing it. Respect her behind closed doors and out in the open. Show others you respect your woman, make your friends give her the same respect. If your picking up your girlfriend and you’re with your boys, let them know its time to take the back seat. Girlfriend’s sit in the front.

•Loyalty- It is your job and your job only to make your girlfriend feel secure about your relationship. Let her know that you would put no other woman above her. If she feels an insecurity about something, show her there’s no reason for it. We would rather be proved to that there is no reason to worry than have a gut feeling saying we should.

•Sex- For some reason a lot of people seem to forget sex is not only for men. Woman need to be pleased to. There’s nothing like making your woman feel sexy and wanted. The late night butt squeezes, or kisses that make her feel irresistible, mean a lot. Text her something letting her know how much you can’t wait to have her when you get home. (This is not for creeps) Let her know that her satisfaction means a lot to you and that its not just about yours. TRUST ME, we get as much joy out of this as men do.

•Apologize- There’s nothing worse than feeling like your man doesn’t understand you. This world is filled with big ego’s (Men and Women). For some reason so many people are afraid to admit when they’re wrong. You have no idea how great it makes your significant other feel when instead of having to drag the apology out they just receive it. Take responsibility for your actions, don’t turn the situation around. If you’re wrong tell her that and then make it up to her.

Dont’s

•Lead her on- If there is something on your mind, speak up. If you feel you’re not ready to be in a relationship DO NOT BE IN ONE. There is nothing worse than being on two seperate pages with someone you care about. If all you want is sex SAY THAT. We are grown ups. If a woman wants casual sex, she can handle just that. Let her make the decision. Do not tell her all the things she wants to hear just to get the same thing you could’ve just by being honest.

Embarrass her- No matter who is around you are a team. Do not tell her she’s wrong in front of a group of people. Take her to the side and discuss what she might not have realized, but do this when you’re alone. If the woman you’re with is having a discussion or argument and you go against her she will feel abandoned. Don’t tell embarrassing stories about her that she wouldn’t want to share. Don’t curse at her and allow her to feel like you’re showing others its okay to disrespect her. That’s a big NO NO.

Pray on her insecurities- The person we want to impress the most is the one we are with. If she feels like she gained 5 pounds in a week because she ate too much ice cream, do not tell her that. Yes, of course you do not want your partner let themselves go. There are just ways of doing so. If you want her to go to the gym, offer to go with her. NEVER CALL HER FAT, EVER! Once you make a woman feel insecure about herself that’s when she thinks you are looking for other women. DO NOT EVER GIVE HER THIS FEELING!

•Kicking her while she’s down- We may tell stories for days, and complain about all of our girl friends and work issues, let us. You are our number one supporter and the person we feel the most comfortable speaking to. If she comes to you with an issue or something that’s hurting her and upsetting her, let her. Don’t tell her shes miserable for complaining to you. Let her vent to you. Do not let her feel shut out. Once we feel shut out we will shut down and that’s when the relationship goes south.

Threatening to leave- Try to fix things, attempt to work on things with your partner. After every argument or issue don’t threaten her with a break up. The only thing that will do is make her feel like she is not valued. You will not always agree on things. Sometimes you can both get angry and heated and say things you do not mean. Before taking the big step to threaten a break up, talk about what the issues are. When you’re in a relationship its for the long haul. It should take more than an argument to break up a healthy relationship. Work together.

•Comparing- NEVER EVER COMPARE. Do not compare the woman you are with to anyone. This goes for comparing to your ex, a co worker, a friend, just don’t do it. Trust me this will avoid future problems. It may not bother her at the moment, but a lot of us like to think about things over and over. All this leads to is questions like “Does he want her?” “Does he think she’s better or prettier than me?” AVOID THIS, you’ll be in a much better place if you do.

This is not a “men bashing post.” Many men do these things without being told. Some woman may not even know how to do these things. I have guys ask me for relationship advise and sometimes they feel woman are too complicated. This is to break down some of the things we feel from a woman’s perspective.

11 Comments

  1. Wow this was awsome! You hit almost every fault that I’ve found in my relationships, inn the men I’ve even encountered or have tried to Persue me.. especially the honesty one. How if you want sex, say it. We’re grown. Don’t waste our time acting like you care to get to know us, because we could have just nipped it in the butt at first.

    & all the do’s. on point sis.

    Love Dest

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Dest, Love you :-*

      Like

  2. Mercedes

    You hit the nail on the head with both the do’s and don’ts!! Another great job 👍

    Liked by 1 person

  3. You were honest with your responses. I don’t think it was man bashing. (I’m not a man, but I thought you were straight forward.) It’s nice to relate on many levels, and hopefully, this post will help some men have happy relationships!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Sadhna Shanker

    I think these dos and donts equally apply to women where men are concerned. comprehensive points!!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you!! Yes they do! Thank you for reading.

      Like

  5. Natasha

    Love this article! Great tips for everyone 🙂 Definitely reposting on my social media!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This artilce went ahead and made my day.

    Liked by 1 person

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