My Momma.

I can’t be fake and start this entry off saying the relationship between my Mom & I has always been the best. It hasn’t. I can’t ever say it’s been perfect and I won’t lie and say I think it will ever be. That’s not realistic. In truth, it’s not even possible because unfortunately like my mom has told me all while growing up.. We are too much alike.

With that being said, we both have strong personalities. You won’t catch either one of us stopping until we have the last word & you won’t ever see us hold our tongues..

For anyone.

Although we have gone through many arguments, bickers, and fights throughout my life.. I can say nothing less than I love this woman with all of my Heart. Even with the crazy relationship that we have, I know that there is close to no one that will ever have my back the way that she does, and she knows I will always have hers.

My Mom is one of the strongest individuals I know. She has gone through things that I wish I could take away from her, experiences that have torn and broken her apart. Just knowing the ups & downs my Mother has encountered hurts me inside.

I can’t even imagine ever in life losing one of my siblings. I try so hard to be strong for my Mother when it comes to the loss of my Aunt, but how much pain could I really take away? I swear as much as we go through I wish I could take all of the pain, every ounce of it away from her, even if it meant feeling the hurt myself.

This entry is random but that’s what my blog is for. I’m writing this to let the strong woman that has raised, loved and cared for me the past 26 years know how much I love her.

Mommy, I love you with all of my heart. I could never deal with my life knowing that you aren’t there to hug, hold and talk to. I know sometimes we argue and say things that we both don’t mean, but I truly love you more than word could ever express.

You have been one of my biggest supporters in this crazy thing we call life. We could have the worst argument ever, say the worst things to one another and still call on eachother when needed. I know that I am not the easiest person to deal with and I know we will always bump heads because that is just us..

I want you to know that no matter what I will ALWAYS & FOREVER be by your side. You never in your life have to question how much I love & adore you. You mean the world to me and I’m grateful to have you as my Mom.

I know that you are going through a rough time and I know its hard for you.. I just want you to know throughout all of this, YOUR FAMILY will ALWAYS have your back.

EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OKAY.

You are one of the strongest people that I know and you have raised and taught me to be the same way. I know this time is scary and that you want it to just be over..

Remember, God would never put you through something that you can not handle.

This little obstacle that you are facing will be over soon enough. We will look back on it and Thank God that you were able to go head on with anything in front of you. You will have your loved ones beside you and be able to say that you were strong enough to push through it.

As much as I am may be able to express myself through my writing, sometimes it is hard to express my feelings in person. I hide behind my hard exterior to protect myself even when it’s not needed. Even though I know how to hug you and tell you it will be okay I felt dedicating this entry to you would mean even more.

One day you will spoil your grandchildren the way Nanny has always spoiled us and I promise you that.

I am not writing this entry because I am scared but because you deserve it. You deserve to know that as much of a pain in the ass that you are, you are and will always be one of my favorite people in the world.

I apologize for anything I have ever said to you that may have hurt you, and I apologize for any arguments that we have in the future. Whenever you question my love or our relationship, just read this and remember you are the Number one Lady in my life.

I know that I push your buttons, I know that I can ruin your day within 5 minutes..

Like I said, our relationship is NOT perfect. BUT, I wouldn’t choose anyone else to call my Mother.

Thank you for everything you have done for me and my sisters. I Thank you for the risks you have taken to build us a better life. Thank you for the sacrifices you have made.

You did not deserve anything that you went through growing up that has put the hurt on your heart. As much as we have gone through in the past, as much as you feel I blame you for the things I have gone through.. Just know I do not.

There’s probably a lot of people that do not understand anything I am talking about in this entry, but this isn’t for them..

It’s FOR YOU..

No matter how OLD I get, or how OLD I am.. YOU ARE MY MOMMY.

I could be 30 with Children and still look to you for advice and for my shoulder to cry on when I need it the most.

You have NOTHING but LOVE & SUPPORT behind you.

I will be here for you every step of the way.

If you made it to the end of this entry just do me a favor..

Say a little prayer for my family and My Mom.

Also, remember to appreciate your loved ones while they are still here.

You never know what can happen in life, and you never know how much an “I Love you” or a little hug can change someone’s day.

Keep your loved ones close to your heart ALWAYS.

DON’T HOLD GRUDGES.. A grudge will only hurt you in the end.

Say your Sorries & Accept Apologies.

I love you Mom, Always, Forever & Beyond that.

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